Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
