He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
