I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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