Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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