biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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