at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
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Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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