My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
