I smell stomach acid.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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