I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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