just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
