Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
