I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
