you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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