Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
