Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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