Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize