I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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