its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
