Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
