It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize