non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
