you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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