I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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