Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
