she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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