video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize