yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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