If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
