it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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