Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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