my mouth tastes like poor choices
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
