Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
FUCK WHALES
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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