i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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