I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
