Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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