If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
