when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
