For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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