the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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