Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
