So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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