Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
