I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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