just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
