apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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