gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
