Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
