how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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