Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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