Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
