Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
