i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I need moral support for this bender
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
