I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
