Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
