i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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