We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
