Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
