I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
