i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
