I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
