Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
