Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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