You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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