so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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