Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the day after is always just damage control
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
