At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
